So you say you love me...

How many of us can say we love someone? What is love? We can say we love someone, but then when we love we become possessive, controlling or even jealous.  Is that really love? Why when we love someone we feel that need? That need to know where they are going? That need to say what is best for them? Whether it is a love for your child, your partner, your sibling, your parent, whomever?  Why do we feel the need to change them? Because we think they need to change? Is that really love?  Why do we get upset and fight when they do something we don’t like? Is this what you call love? True love, unconditional love is loving someone wholly, the good, the bad, the ugly.  Complete acceptance.  If they decide to love someone else.  We get hurt.  But if we love unconditionally we accept what is best for them.  Maybe it’s best for them to love someone else.  Maybe they can love two or three people at the same time.  Hmm… True unconditional love is hard, it is rare.  Accepting their failures, there weaknesses, how can that be done? I say start by being love.  Loving every part of yourself.  Loving nature, the animals, the insects, loving everything.  Be love don’t just say you love.  Every action that you emit is loving. Every thought is loving.  Not thoughts or actions of anger or hate.  When you find yourself getting upset, think loving thoughts.  Remember good times with that person.  Remember that person is human and we all make mistakes.  No one is perfect. Then ask yourself, do I love this person and if yes be compassionate.  Allow room for mistakes.  Through mistakes people learn and grow.  Who are we to interfere in the person’s growth.  Whether we are their lover, spouse, parent, child, sibling…Who are we? If you truly love, you will allow that person to learn from their mistakes, showing compassion and love all the way.  

Love Basically Is a State of Being

"The real thing is not a relationship but a state; one is not in love but one is love. Whenever I talk about love remember this: I am talking about the state of love. Yes, relationship is perfectly good, but the relationship is going to be false if you have not attained to the state of love. Then the relationship is not only a pretension, it is a dangerous pretension, because it can go on befooling you; it can go on giving you the sense that you know what love is, and you don't know. Love basically is a state of being; one is not in love, one is love. 

"And that love arises not by falling in love with somebody. That love arises by going in – not by falling but by rising, soaring upwards, higher than you. It is a kind of surpassing. A man is love when his being is silent; it is the song of silence. A buddha is love, a Jesus is love – not in love with a particular person, but simply love. Their very climate is love. It is not addressed to anybody in particular, it is spreading in all directions. Whosoever comes close to a buddha will feel it, will be showered by it, will be bathed in it. And it is unconditionally so. 

"Love makes no conditions, no ifs, no buts. Love never says, "Fulfill these requirements, then I will love you." Love is like breathing: when it happens you are simply love. It does not matter who comes close to you, the sinner or the saint. Whosoever comes close to you starts feeling the vibe of love, is rejoiced. Love is unconditional giving – but only those are capable of giving who have." 

Osho

A Cats Teachings on Freedom

One day I received a call from a friend asking me if I would like a kitten.  My initial response was no, as I am not a cat person and have never had cats.  She said she didn’t have anyone else to give the kitten too and just couldn't give her the care she needed.  So I said I will come see the kitten, feel her out and decide.  I went to her house, saw the kitten, and went back home to think about it.  Finally with a little pressure from my friend I resistantly went to pick up this kitten.  It was a battle, the kitten, named Frida ended up getting a kidney infection and was very stubborn and head strong.  She wouldn’t listen to me and wanted to do her own thing.  She tore down the screen in my back window to get out of the house. When I would open my living room window she would jump out.  I would spray her with water to try and stop this behavior.  It didn’t work.  She would look at me, look at the window, look at the spray bottle than make her decision to jump out.  She wore me out.  Fighting and trying to get her to stay in the house.  I had so many fears of her getting fleas and bringing them into the house, getting hit by a car, getting pregnant.  All the fears of a typical mother.  Well, if I was to look in the mirror she was my reflection.  But now I see me in her.  It’s true that pets take on characteristics of there owners.  Realizing this helped me to relax and let go.  I began to accept Frida.  I was trying to control her and put a leash on her and that is not what she wanted.  She wanted and needed the freedom to do what she wanted.  Her very nature is independence.  I began to notice she would go into the garden in the back and sit in nature, one of the things I enjoy doing.  She would never wander too far from the house, she would mostly sit near the trees and people watch.  

One of the things that made me keep her, was Frida’s loving personality.  She would follow me around the house, whether I was in the living room, kitchen, bathroom or bedroom she would come.  She would greet me at the door when I arrived home and rub her face on my foot.  She gave so much love.  Whenever I had guests she would greet them with open arms and show them love as well.  Indeed she is as social and loving as I.  

Lessons from Frida: She has taught me how to love unconditionally.  She loves the many people who comes to my home and that doesn’t take away from the love she has to offer me.  Many have this fear that if their partner is open and loving of others that will diminish the love the partner could offer them.  This is not true.  This is one of the lessons she has taught me.  I accept her no matter what.  I accept her challenges, when she is stubborn, when she is loving, all of her.  That is unconditional love.  She has taught me the true meaning of freedom.  To be able to live without fears.  To be able to connect with nature.  When you love someone, you do not try to control them or keep them locked up.  You allow them to be.  Most importantly as a reflection of me she has taught me to love me!