I'm not in Kansas anymore

I arrived in Sao Paulo on a cold, rainy day and I thought to myself.  I’m not in Kansas anymore. The thoughts of why would you leave Salvador, the beautiful sunny weather, the beaches, the tranquility.  You are now in Sao Paulo where it is cold and rainy.  I now needed to wear boots again.  Self doubt entered.  Did I make the right decision?  In a couple of days I will head to Minas Gerais but the weather is the same there.  But then I met with my sisters, whom I had been studying Shamanism with, to go to a waterfall where we cleansed ourselves with clay and bathed underneath the cold falling waters.  It was absolutely beautiful.  That night we went to a Gypsy party, where I felt like a gypsy.  When you think of gypsy, it is a person who travels, is free and intuitive.  Maybe I am a gypsy? I felt the love of my Sao Paulo family.  

A few days later I caught the bus to Minas Gerais.  It was wonderful being back there at the community in the mountains.  I suddenly realized.  I am in Kansas. Kansas is wherever I go.  We can be happy wherever we live.  It is up to us to see the nature and wonders around us.  I can be happy living in a beach town, I can be happy living in the mountains or I can be happy living in the city, where it gets cold in the winters.  Kansas is a state of mind. 

Metamorphosis

The name Renee is very befitting of me as it means reborn.  I have been reborn several times.  The latest was during my stay at a tantra community.  I lived there for 2 months doing yoga, meditations and working hard.  You see, there, we have to work as an exchange to pay for for the courses they offer.  The work is hard and long.  We work seven days a week.  The weekends we work longer and harder as they have courses every weekend.  The first week I was ready to quit.  I felt like I worked like a slave.  Why was I putting myself through this? The schedule was tight.  We woke up around 6:30am for yoga at 7am, breakfast at 8am then worked until lunch at noon with a break, then worked again til 5 then a meditation or activity such as dance or music, then another activity at 9pm whether it is massage, dance, meditation, etc.  Sleep usually around midnight.  I was burnt my first week.  As much as i loved to dance my body was physically exhausted after working on my feet than having to dance during our activity.  I remember asking if I could not do a task after a long days work and I was told that we are more than our minds and that we can do what we put our minds too.  We are stronger than the physical.  The talk gave me encouragement to push myself beyond my limit.  I was physically and mentally exhausted but strength came to me. I pushed myself and it became easier. 

I remember working and being my normal talkative self and the coordinator would say work meditation.  You have to be focused and present.  I realized how unfocused and absent I have been.  I meditate often and am present during those times but often in my day to day I wasn’t which is why I would not remember things or tune people out at times.  My mind wandered a lot.  Being present is being there, being aware of what you are doing, your conversations, or where you are.  I was grateful for the reminders and teachings to be present.  Other times they would remind me to have eagle vision.  What is this eagle vision? For sure I didn’t have that.  Eagle vision is seeing something that needs to be done and doing it without being asked. Eagle vision is seeing something where it shouldn’t be and putting it into its proper place.  I remembered when I lived with my sister and she asked me to wash the dishes.  I washed everything in the sink but didn’t notice the cups on the table and she came back and mentioned that to me.  Had I washed everything even what was outside of the sink is eagle vision.  Another wonderful lesson that I am eternally grateful for.  Although the lessons were hard for me they were very much needed.

In time I felt nothing but gratitude for my teachings and my inner strength began to shine through.  My last weekend everyone was saying how powerful I looked.  I felt the shift.  I felt the change.  I felt stronger and more grounded. I am powerful beyond belief!  We are all powerful beyond belief! When was the last time you pushed yourself beyond your limit? When was the last time you ran that extra mile? I saw how my butterfly wings grew stronger and more beautiful! We are all or have been that caterpillar that will or changed into a beautiful butterfly.  Let your wings flap!  Let your beauty shine! Trust in yourself! Push beyond your limit and see how strong you really are.  With love Renee!

Chanupa

As part of the Shamanic tradition we use the Cachimbo, or Chanupa, Native American term for sacred pipe, in order to put our prayers into physical form.  It is a connection between the physical and spiritual world.  Smoke becomes our words; it goes out, touches everything, and becomes a part of all there is. The fire in the pipe is the same fire in the sun, which is the source of life.  The reason why tobacco is used to connect the worlds is that the plant's roots go deep into the earth, and its smoke rises high into the heavens. The pipe ceremony invokes a relationship with the energies of the universe, and ultimately the Creator, and the bond made between earthly and spiritual realms is not to be broken.  The smoke is not inhaled, but puffed into, then out of the mouth in each of the four directions, acknowledging Father Sky, Mother Earth, and the Great Spirit.

Cachimbo

I received my first Cachimbo (which is smaller than a Chanupa) last year when I received my Shamanic Reiki Masters initiation and have been using it since for prayers and meditation.  I have seen that it has made my prayers more powerful and realized a lot faster.  Earlier in May I decided that I wanted a bigger pipe for various reasons and then a friend asked me to buy a pipe for him while at my Shamanic Course in Sao Paulo.  The lady did not have any pipes available so when I returned I asked a woman I know here in Salvador.  She too did not have any but she told me of a workshop that was happening in which you build your pipe, and consecrate it.  I was blessed to be able to attend the course which happened yesterday.

Chanupa

In the course we had did a shamanic journey built a sacred fire and had a pipe ceremony with smoking, singing, dancing and sharing wisdom.  When you smoke the sacred pipe only truth comes out of your mouth.  It helps you to connect to your higher self, your truth and knowledge comes from this source.  We had profound conversations and I felt my true power.  In constructing my Chanupa I could feel my power, my strength, my higher self.  It was a meditation where I delved deeper into myself.  I connected deeply with strangers who were also taking the workshop.  This morning in my 1.5 hour long meditation with my new Chanupa I felt a sense of peace, faith and trust and new my prayers were heard.  That is the power of the Chanupa.  I sat in silence and began to understand many things in  my life and felt so much gratitude my eyes began to tear up.  I am forever grateful to the wisdom of Chanupa and Shamanism.

Love Languages

I had an interesting conversation over dinner yesterday.  Some friends and I spoke about family and relationships.  It’s interesting how your family shapes how you express love.  One friend had  a lot in common with my family in terms of not showing affection physically.  My family wasn’t very caressing and rarely spoke the words “I love you”.  This didn’t mean we didn’t love each other.  It was just shown in different ways, such as trying to make sure we were well fed, our needs were met and showing us different cultures.  My love for travel definitely came from my family.  My parents always traveled with us.  

In relationships I rarely gave affectionate touches.  I remember partners saying I don’t know how you feel about me and I would think how could they not know.  I showed my love in different ways.  I wasn’t touchy feely or verbally expressive.  Some people need to be touched, some people need to hear the words, some need physical assurance, some need intellectual stimulation.  Nothing is necessarily better than the other but we just have to understand what we need as well as what our partners need.

Moving to Brazil and getting a cat has helped me to be a bit more physically affectionate as the culture here is much more physical.  I have met friends who openly say I love you to each other.  I have always been more action oriented as sometimes people can say they love you but their actions show otherwise.  In the same way people can show they love you and not say it.  The latter was my case.  But being here I definitely say I love you more and it feels good to express that verbally.  Now I have the best of both worlds.  I am verbally expressing myself more and physically expressing myself more as well as carrying out the actions.  This can be very vulnerable but I see that I haven’t been hurt.  I can’t get hurt when I am true to myself and my feelings.  When I am in touch with myself and feelings I will know whom to share with.  

My cat is very affectionate and comes to me to show her affection.  At first I didn’t know what to do, but in watching others with her or there cats I learned.  I now always rub on her and kiss her and tell her I love her.  I see how she needs this and melts when I am affectionate.  I am forever grateful to the teachings of my friends, family and my cat for showing me how to love.

In which ever boat you are in just be true to yourself and your feelings and everything else will flow.

A Cats Teachings on Freedom

One day I received a call from a friend asking me if I would like a kitten.  My initial response was no, as I am not a cat person and have never had cats.  She said she didn’t have anyone else to give the kitten too and just couldn't give her the care she needed.  So I said I will come see the kitten, feel her out and decide.  I went to her house, saw the kitten, and went back home to think about it.  Finally with a little pressure from my friend I resistantly went to pick up this kitten.  It was a battle, the kitten, named Frida ended up getting a kidney infection and was very stubborn and head strong.  She wouldn’t listen to me and wanted to do her own thing.  She tore down the screen in my back window to get out of the house. When I would open my living room window she would jump out.  I would spray her with water to try and stop this behavior.  It didn’t work.  She would look at me, look at the window, look at the spray bottle than make her decision to jump out.  She wore me out.  Fighting and trying to get her to stay in the house.  I had so many fears of her getting fleas and bringing them into the house, getting hit by a car, getting pregnant.  All the fears of a typical mother.  Well, if I was to look in the mirror she was my reflection.  But now I see me in her.  It’s true that pets take on characteristics of there owners.  Realizing this helped me to relax and let go.  I began to accept Frida.  I was trying to control her and put a leash on her and that is not what she wanted.  She wanted and needed the freedom to do what she wanted.  Her very nature is independence.  I began to notice she would go into the garden in the back and sit in nature, one of the things I enjoy doing.  She would never wander too far from the house, she would mostly sit near the trees and people watch.  

One of the things that made me keep her, was Frida’s loving personality.  She would follow me around the house, whether I was in the living room, kitchen, bathroom or bedroom she would come.  She would greet me at the door when I arrived home and rub her face on my foot.  She gave so much love.  Whenever I had guests she would greet them with open arms and show them love as well.  Indeed she is as social and loving as I.  

Lessons from Frida: She has taught me how to love unconditionally.  She loves the many people who comes to my home and that doesn’t take away from the love she has to offer me.  Many have this fear that if their partner is open and loving of others that will diminish the love the partner could offer them.  This is not true.  This is one of the lessons she has taught me.  I accept her no matter what.  I accept her challenges, when she is stubborn, when she is loving, all of her.  That is unconditional love.  She has taught me the true meaning of freedom.  To be able to live without fears.  To be able to connect with nature.  When you love someone, you do not try to control them or keep them locked up.  You allow them to be.  Most importantly as a reflection of me she has taught me to love me!

My journey with Rapé! Minha Jornada com Rapé!

PARA PORTUGUES LER EM BAIXO (ESTA TRADUZIDO NO PORTUGUES)

My journey with Rapé, pronounced ‘ha-peh’, in English, has been an interesting one.  It is one heavily connected with ayahuasca.  I remember being in Peru at an ayahuasca ceremony and was asked if I would like to try Rapé.  I was told it is normally done at Ayahuasca ceremonies to prepare you for the work and open up the third eye chakra.  Being that I am a daredevil and adventurous I will certainly try anything once. So I said yes.  The Shaman blew the Rapé in one nostril without any explanation, of what to expect, to me.  Let me remind you that I was in Peru where they only spoke Spanish in this ceremony.  Immediately I stopped breathing.  Fear entered, I began to panic.  Thoughts of death aroused.  The Shaman began to say breathe in Spanish, but I couldn’t.  He said breathe again.  I was just filled with fear and could not hear anything he was saying.  Breathe, what is breathing anyway.  Breath is life.  Breath is the thing that helps us relax, think clearly and bring us back to a healthy state, which is why breath work is fundamental in yoga, meditation, pilates, dance and singing.  Breathe.  He touched me and said breathe.  I was able to take a deep breath.  The panic left.  Then he prepared to blow the Rapé in the next nostril.  I started a process and had to continue. He blew, I choked up again but this time I was able to breathe sooner.  A shooting pain  went to the back of my brain with both blows.  But the first blow, I just choked up, the second blow I was able to rub on my head some. Tears ran down both cheeks.  I began to spit and blow my nose, but then a sense of peace came.  It made it all worth it.  I had an amazing meditation, felt completely and deeply relaxed and knew everything would be ok.

As I continued on my journey through S. America and doing Ayahuasca ceremonies, I continued to do Rapé.  After living in brazil for 3 years Rapé became a bit more of a regular practice.  I hadn’t been trained on it officially but began to use it myself.  I would buy the Rapé and snuff it myself for deep meditations.  Eventually I bought a self applicator, called ‘Kuripe’, with more time I bought an applicator in which I could administer to others.  This is called ‘Tepi’ or blow pipe.  They are made from bambu or bones.  The Kuripe is a V shape and Tepi is long with the smaller end being the end to insert into the nose.  I guess you could say I had a training directly through Rapé, but then I began a Shaman course in which I did receive a training on how to blow Rapé and how to insert it into the applicator.  

I remember doing Rapé once in Imbassai, Brazil at the beach with a friend for an outside meditation.  After snuffing I vomited for the first time.  Now I have vomited when doing Rapé after ayahuasca, but this is the first time when I did it with nothing else.  As I purged, I could see all of my fears exiting.  I was cleansing my soul and body.  It was a wonderful and well needed purge that I was thankful for.  It wasn’t painful or uncomfortable.  It was just a well needed cleanse.  I sat back down and that sense of peace returned. I generally do Rapé about four times a month sometimes weekly.  Usually I will do it for new or full moon ceremonies  or times where I feel like I would like to have a deep meditation.  I am thinking of doing Rapé more often as it profoundly helps to re-align and open all your chakras, improves your grounding, releases any sickness on physical, emotional, mental and spiritual levels, opens-up the third eye, de-calcifies the pineal gland, clears any mental confusion, releases any negative thoughts, connects you to your divine breath, and elevates your connection with Spirit.

Rapé is a very rare, sacred, powerful, precious, profoundly healing and cleansing miracle medicine that I am thankful to have come across in my lifes’ journey.  Each journey with Rapé, I have received valuable insight on what I should do, it has helped me to connect with my precious breath, taught me how to trust myself and have given me a sense of peace and faith. Thank you sacred medicine.  Thank you Rapé!

 Minha jornada com Rapé, pronuncia-se 'ha-peh ", em Inglês, tem sido interessante. É ligado com ayahuasca. Lembro-me de estar no Peru em uma cerimônia de ayahuasca e foi perguntado se eu gostaria de tentar Rapé. Foi-me dito que é feito normalmente nas cerimónias de ayahuasca para se preparar para o trabalho e abrir o chakra do terceiro olho. Sendo que eu sou uma mulher retada e aventureira, vou certamente tentar qualquer coisa uma vez. Então, eu disse porque não. O Shaman soprou o  Rapé em uma narina, sem qualquer explicação, do que esperar, para mim. Deixe-me lembrá-lo que eu estava no Peru, onde eles só falavam espanhol nesta cerimónia. Imediatamente eu parei de respirar. Medo entrou, eu comecei a entrar em pânico. Pensamentos de morte despertou. O Shaman começou a dizer respirar em espanhol, mas eu não podia. Ele disse que respirar novamente. Eu estava cheia de medo e não conseguia ouvir nada do que ele estava dizendo. Respire, o que está  respirar. A respiração é vida. A respiração é a coisa que nos ajuda a relaxar, pensar com clareza e nos trazer de volta a um estado saudável, e é por isso que o trabalho de respiração é fundamental para yoga, meditação, pilates, dança e canto. Respire. Ele me tocou e disse respirar. Eu era capaz de tomar uma respiração profunda. O pânico saiu. Em seguida, ele se preparava para soprou o  Rapé na próxima narina. Eu comecei um processo e teve que continuar. Ele explodiu, eu engasgado novamente, mas desta vez eu era capaz de respirar mais cedo. A dor aguda foi para a parte de trás do meu cérebro com ambas as vias de fato. Mas o primeiro golpe, eu só engasgado, o segundo golpe que eu era capaz de esfregar na minha cabeça alguns. Lágrimas correram para baixo. Eu comecei a cuspir e assoar o nariz, mas, em seguida, uma sensação de paz veio. Ele fez tudo valer a pena. Eu tive uma meditação incrível, me senti completamente e profundamente relaxado e sabia que tudo seria ok.

Como eu continuei na minha viagem através S. América e fazendo cerimônias de Ayahuasca, continuei a fazer  Rapé. Depois de viver no Brasil por 3 anos  Rapé tornou-se um pouco mais de uma prática regular. Eu não haviam sido treinados sobre ele oficialmente, mas começou a usá-lo eu mesmo. Gostaria de comprar o  Rapé e apagá-me para meditações profundas. Eventualmente, eu comprei um auto aplicador, chamado 'Kuripe', com mais tempo eu comprei um aplicador em que eu poderia administrar a outros. Isso é chamado de 'Tepi' ou tubo de sopro. Eles são feitos de bambu ou ossos. O Kuripe é uma forma de “V” e Tepi é longa, com a extremidade menor ser o fim para inserir no nariz. Eu acho que você poderia dizer que eu tinha um treinamento diretamente através de  Rapé, mas depois eu comecei um curso Shaman em que eu tenha recebido um treinamento sobre como soprar  Rapé e como inseri-lo com aplicador.

Lembro-me de fazer o  Rapé de vez em Imbassai, Brasil na praia com uma amiga para uma meditação fora. Após aplicando Rapé vomitei pela primeira vez. Antes eu ter vomitado ao fazer  Rapé após ayahuasca, mas esta é a primeira vez que eu fiz isso com nada mais. Como eu purgado, pude ver todos os meus medos saindo. Eu estava limpando minha alma e do corpo. Foi um expurgo maravilhoso e bem necessário que eu era grata. Não foi dolorosa ou desconfortável. Foi apenas uma limpeza bem necessário. Sentei-me de volta para baixo e que a sensação de paz retornado. Eu geralmente faço  Rapé cerca de quatro vezes por mês, às vezes semanais. Normalmente eu faca isso para cerimônias de lua nova ou cheia ou tempos em que me sinto como se eu gostaria de ter uma profunda meditação. Estou pensando em fazer o  Rapé mais frequentemente como profundamente ajuda a re-align e abrir todos os seus chakras, melhora a sua ligação à terra, libera qualquer doença em níveis físico, emocional, mental e espiritual, abre-se o terceiro olho, de-calcifica a glândula pineal, apaga qualquer confusão mental, libera todos os pensamentos negativos, você conecta ao seu sopro divino, e eleva a sua conexão com o Espírito.

Rapé é um muito raro, sagrado, poderoso, muito, profundamente cura e medicina milagre de limpeza que eu sou grata por ter na minha jornada da vida. Cada viagem de  Rapé, recebi informações valiosas sobre o que devo fazer, ele me ajudou a se conectar com o meu precioso respiração, me ensinou a confiar em mim e me deu uma sensação de paz e fé. Obrigado medicina sagrada. Obrigada Rapé!

Thank you Nefertiti Atlan for the wonderful pics!
#JustbeingRenee

Welcome to RetreatwithRenee(RwR)

My name is Renee Marie Adolphe.  I am a Psychotherapist and Reiki Master, who has been traveling through India and S. America for the last two years.  I am currently living in Salvador, Brazil and decided to begin RetreatwithRenee in order to bring people from different countries to Brazil to grow, love, enjoy, laugh, and experience what I am experiencing through retreating within themselves.  My goal for this blog is to post things I plan on doing and teaching in my retreats and to learn from you what you would like to experience in retreats.