The name Renee is very befitting of me as it means reborn. I have been reborn several times. The latest was during my stay at a tantra community. I lived there for 2 months doing yoga, meditations and working hard. You see, there, we have to work as an exchange to pay for for the courses they offer. The work is hard and long. We work seven days a week. The weekends we work longer and harder as they have courses every weekend. The first week I was ready to quit. I felt like I worked like a slave. Why was I putting myself through this? The schedule was tight. We woke up around 6:30am for yoga at 7am, breakfast at 8am then worked until lunch at noon with a break, then worked again til 5 then a meditation or activity such as dance or music, then another activity at 9pm whether it is massage, dance, meditation, etc. Sleep usually around midnight. I was burnt my first week. As much as i loved to dance my body was physically exhausted after working on my feet than having to dance during our activity. I remember asking if I could not do a task after a long days work and I was told that we are more than our minds and that we can do what we put our minds too. We are stronger than the physical. The talk gave me encouragement to push myself beyond my limit. I was physically and mentally exhausted but strength came to me. I pushed myself and it became easier.
I remember working and being my normal talkative self and the coordinator would say work meditation. You have to be focused and present. I realized how unfocused and absent I have been. I meditate often and am present during those times but often in my day to day I wasn’t which is why I would not remember things or tune people out at times. My mind wandered a lot. Being present is being there, being aware of what you are doing, your conversations, or where you are. I was grateful for the reminders and teachings to be present. Other times they would remind me to have eagle vision. What is this eagle vision? For sure I didn’t have that. Eagle vision is seeing something that needs to be done and doing it without being asked. Eagle vision is seeing something where it shouldn’t be and putting it into its proper place. I remembered when I lived with my sister and she asked me to wash the dishes. I washed everything in the sink but didn’t notice the cups on the table and she came back and mentioned that to me. Had I washed everything even what was outside of the sink is eagle vision. Another wonderful lesson that I am eternally grateful for. Although the lessons were hard for me they were very much needed.
In time I felt nothing but gratitude for my teachings and my inner strength began to shine through. My last weekend everyone was saying how powerful I looked. I felt the shift. I felt the change. I felt stronger and more grounded. I am powerful beyond belief! We are all powerful beyond belief! When was the last time you pushed yourself beyond your limit? When was the last time you ran that extra mile? I saw how my butterfly wings grew stronger and more beautiful! We are all or have been that caterpillar that will or changed into a beautiful butterfly. Let your wings flap! Let your beauty shine! Trust in yourself! Push beyond your limit and see how strong you really are. With love Renee!
